punishment for bettering oneself?

I’m going back to college. The semester starts on Wednesday. I’m right at 30 and I’ll be going back to school. WTF am I thinking? I dislike school and have since the 4th grade. I will do it this time. I have a family to help support so I must do this and do it well….even though it involves 3 math classes…intermediate algebra, college algebra, and math for teachers. I do not do math. I will do it though, and completely conquer!

I work part time as well. At least, I think I do. I am a CNA in a nursing home. I love my job but I don’t feel as though it’s what drives me. Growing up, I dreamed of becoming a nurse and taking care of sick patients. I wanted to work at St. Jude before I decided that I can’t deal with sick and dying children. It hurts my heart too much.  I love taking care of the elderly, but there is just too much red tape for me to be comfortable pursuing a nursing degree.  Basically, knowing someone’s life will depend on whether I’m having a good day or not, if I slept well the night before, etc. is not something I want resting on my shoulders. No, thank you!

My boss was infuriated when I told her I’m going back to school. We’re talking make me feel like crap for “abandoning your God given “talents” in the health care field to pursue a lesser career that brings no satisfaction, respect, or appreciation and you’re better than that! You know you’re supposed to go into nursing school and become a nurse!”, type of infuriated! I told her this breaking “Hey I’m going back to school this fall” news in mid July. That gave her PLENTY of time to make out the schedule for August and adjust accordingly. I told her that I could work the normal hours I have been until August 15. For the rest of the month, I needed to be on only a prn basis. (Prn meaning “as needed”) Once I got my class schedule I’d be able to tell her which days I could work for the rest of the semester. She said this would be fine. Two days later I get asked what I’m going to school for as she assumed I was going into the LPN or RN programs. When I told her it was for high school education, she flipped the script big time. The August schedule had me down for 2, I repeat, 2 days!!! WTF?! I ask and get told “Oh, I must have misunderstood you” as I’m given the most sarcastic smirk I’ve ever received. UGH BITCH!!! I did go in and give her my class schedule. We agreed on Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday (because, as I was told, “We just don’t have employment for someone who cannot work any on a weekend) and prn the other days.

We will see if she “misunderstands” our agreement when the September schedules come out. If she does, I can always go to the unemployment office and get part time unemployment. I don’t want to have to do that though. I don’t like handouts and, hopefully, never will. I don’t know about other states but in Arkansas it seems as if our state government rewards people who just sit on their asses and do nothing yet punishes those who want to work and become successful. If you’re working part time and going back to school, you’re pretty much guaranteed to not get help in any form unless you go to the offices and act stupid on them. It’s just annoying.

I’ve just realized my coffee mug is empty, so I must get off of here and start the day. Have fun all. Remember to keep looking up!